Lovingly Written

Guide

How to write an obituary for your mother

An obituary for your mother usually includes: her full name (including maiden name), age, town and date of death; a short account of her life, work and passions; the family who survive her and those who died before her; service details; and where to send donations. A print version is often 100 to 200 words; online it can be longer.

By the Lovingly Written team · Updated

What to include

  • Announcement: full name, maiden name, age, hometown, date (and, if you wish, place) of death.
  • Her life: where she grew up, work or vocation, faith or community, what she loved.
  • Family: those who survive her (spouse, children and their partners, grandchildren, siblings) and those who died before her.
  • Service details: date, time and place of visitation and funeral.
  • Donations: charity or cause, if any. See in lieu of flowers wording.

Making it sound like her

One or two specific details make all the difference: the hymn she sang off-key, her famous lemon cake, the garden, the crossword. Let one detail stand for many.

Illustrative example

Margaret Ann (Hughes) Collins, 78, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, died peacefully on October 12 with her family beside her. Born in Scranton, she worked for 30 years as a school secretary, where generations of students knew her as the person who always had a spare pencil and a kind word. She loved her garden, Saturday yard sales and her grandchildren, in no particular order. She is survived by her husband of 54 years, Robert; her children, Susan (Mark) and David (Lisa); and five grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her brother, Thomas. A funeral service will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday at Grace Lutheran Church. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to Hospice of Lancaster County.

This example is illustrative; names and details are fictional.

Listing family

List the survivors first, closest relationship first; put spouses of children in parentheses if that's the family's custom. Then those who died before her ("preceded in death by"). Read the list to a sibling or close relative before publishing. Missing a name is the most common regret.

Newspapers often charge for paid obituaries and may have deadlines, so the print version is usually shorter. Funeral home and memorial websites allow a longer version with photos.

Help with the words

Tell us about her and we'll help you write an obituary from your notes. See also how to write an obituary, our obituary examples and the eulogy for your mother guide.

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