How to start a eulogy: 12 opening lines you can adapt

Why the opening matters

The first thirty seconds are usually the hardest. Your voice may shake and you may not trust it yet. A short, plain opening gives you something you can say almost on autopilot while you settle. Save the most emotional lines for later, when you have found your rhythm.

Three patterns that work

1. Introduce yourself. "For those who don't know me, I'm Ellie, Rose's granddaughter." Many guests won't know who you are.
2. Start with a picture. Put the listener somewhere: a kitchen, a car, a workshop, a ballfield.
3. Start with something they said. A phrase everyone will recognize brings them into the room immediately.

12 opening lines you can adapt

These are original examples. Swap in your own names, places and words.

1. "For those who don't know me, I'm [name], [relationship]. I've been trying all week to work out how to describe [name] in five minutes, and I've decided I can't. So I'll tell you about one Saturday instead."
2. "If you ever called [name]'s house before nine in the morning, you'll know exactly how she answered the phone."
3. "[Name] had a saying for everything. The one I heard most was '[their phrase]'."
4. "Thank you all for being here. [Name] would have counted the cars outside and pretended not to be pleased."
5. "My first memory of [name] is [small moment]. My last one is [small moment]. Everything in between is what I want to tell you about."
6. "I've known [name] for [number] years, since we were [where/when]."
7. "[Name] would want me to keep this short, so I'll try. He'd also want me to mention [harmless joke], so I will."
8. "Some people make a room louder. [Name] made it calmer."
9. "When I told my children I'd been asked to speak today, my daughter said, 'Just tell them about the pancakes.' So I will."
10. "There are a lot of people here who knew [name] better than I did. I want to tell you about the [name] I knew: [role]."
11. "[Name] wasn't one for speeches, so I'll keep this the way he liked things: plain and honest."
12. "I'm going to read this, because if I try to say it from memory, I'll get it wrong, and [name] would never let me hear the end of it."

Openings to avoid

• Long quotations from famous writers. They often feel borrowed and push the person further away.
• Apologizing at length for being nervous. One line is fine; then begin.
• Starting with the cause of death or the last difficult weeks, unless the family has asked you to.

What comes next

After the opening, move into your first story. If you need a structure for the rest, try our eulogy template, see how to end a eulogy, or read full eulogy examples.