Writing a eulogy for your husband

Should you give the eulogy yourself?

There's no rule. Some people find strength in speaking about their husband; others know it would be too much on the day. Both are completely acceptable. Options include:

• Reading it yourself, with someone standing beside you holding a copy.
• Writing it and asking an adult child, sibling or close friend to read it.
• Writing a short note that the officiant reads on your behalf.
• Saying a few lines yourself and letting others give the longer tributes.

What to include

• How you met, told as a short story rather than a date.
• Who he was at home: his routines, the things he always fixed or never fixed, how he made you laugh.
• What he was like as a father, grandfather or friend, if that's part of his story.
• Something only you know: a kindness he never mentioned, a habit, the way he said goodnight.

A simple structure

1. Introduce yourself to anyone who may not know you, and say how long you were together.
2. Tell the story of how you met or an early memory.
3. Share one or two moments from your life together.
4. Say what he gave to the people in the room.
5. Close with a few words to him.

Questions to get you started

• What did he do every morning without fail?
• What were you always teasing each other about?
• What would he want people to remember?
• What will you miss on an ordinary evening?

If your marriage had difficult chapters

A eulogy doesn't need to be a complete account. You can speak honestly about the good while leaving private matters private. If your feelings are complicated, it can help to keep the eulogy short and focus on the moments you are glad to remember.

Help with the words

If you'd rather not face a blank page, tell us about him and we'll help you shape your memories into a eulogy in your own voice. You can read the opening before deciding anything. See also our eulogy for a wife guide and eulogy examples.